Human beings have emotions for a reason. Emotions motivate us to take action and help us communicate with others and ourselves. Without emotions, you would not run from a dangerous situation or feel the urge to comfort a crying baby. Even painful emotions can serve a purpose, and while some emotions may be unwanted, suppressing emotions tends to make things worse. This is where emotion regulation comes in. Emotion regulation is not about getting rid of unpleasant emotions, but helping you increase emotional resilience, or your ability to cope with difficult emotions and bounce back when you are faced with challenges in your life.
What is emotion regulation?
Emotion regulation refers to your ability to modulate your emotions when needed—to find a middle ground between avoiding your emotions altogether and becoming overwhelmed by them. You likely practice some form of emotion regulation every day. For instance, have you ever felt upset about something and tried to distract yourself by thinking about something else? That’s emotion regulation! Have you ever felt stressed or anxious and taken a deep breath to calm down? That’s emotion regulation too!
What is emotion dysregulation?
Emotion dysregulation is the inability to manage your emotions in a healthy way. You may be struggling with emotion dysregulation if you:
Frequently experience intense painful emotions, such as guilt, sadness, frustration, or anger
Often feel emotionally “overwhelmed”
Act impulsively in response to strong positive or negative emotions
Struggle to focus on your goals when you’re feeling strong emotions
Are verbally or physically aggressive toward others
Often use food, alcohol, or other substances to cope with your emotions
Have unstable relationships with others with extreme highs and lows
Tend to “freeze” or “check out” when under stress
Struggle to calm down when feeling upset
The goal of emotion regulation skills training is to help you change or manage behaviors, emotions, and thoughts that are causing you distress and contributing to problems in your life.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills for Emotion Regulation
The emotion regulation skills training provided at the Center for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness is based on Dialectical Behavior Therapy. At this time, the Center for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Mindfulness does not offer full Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which involves individual therapy, weekly 2-hour group skills training, and coaching calls. However, we do offer DBT skills training in 50-minute individual sessions. A growing research base has shown that DBT skills training alone can be very effective for a variety of issues, including depression, anxiety, trauma, interpersonal issues, aggression, impulsivity, and disordered eating.
Four types of DBT Skills
Mindfulness. DBT mindfulness skills focus on living intentionally in the present moment. The goals of a DBT mindfulness practice are to observe our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and senses without judgment, in order to experience reality as it is.
Interpersonal effectiveness. DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills help you develop new relationships, strengthen current relationships, and manage conflicts with others. These skills will help you learn how to ask others for what you want, say no to things you do not want, and express your opinions clearly and effectively. These skills also focus on helping you create and maintain balance in your relationships.
Emotion regulation. DBT emotion regulation skills help you identify and describe your emotions, cope with difficult emotions, and decrease suffering that comes with painful emotions. Again, the goal is not to get rid of unpleasant or unwanted emotions entirely, but to learn how to respond to emotions in a more effective way.
Distress tolerance. DBT distress tolerance skills help you manage crisis situations without making things worse. Pain and distress are a part of life, and distress tolerance skills help you live with these emotions so you can better tolerate crisis situations and not let them interfere with your goals and ability to live a meaningful life.
